I'm not being grateful and I am selfish. I wanna cut my hand. I want an accident. I wanna die. Because, I don't want they leave me. I don't want my family, friends leave me. I love them.
It is really sad when we know something that we don't know. When I just realize, that I'm not the pathetic person in the world. There is more people who suffer their life with sadness and cruelty.
I am crying, don't understand their feeling. It's make me hurt. Sometimes, I want to be a volunteer, to help people. It's sad when I'm in a good condition, but still thinking about death, they still suffer their life no matter what, they still want to live.
I'm sorry, Allah. I always pray to you, to give me strength to live. I know it is a sin when we think about 'want to die'. and I always ask you to forgive me, my parents, family, friends, and the Muslims.
But, I really scared to through my life and knows my future.
-a letter to Allah-